"I will not use my hands or my words for hurting myself or others."
Hands and Words pledge |
Published: October 10, 2006
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By STARLA POINTER
Of the News-Register
Saying the Hands and Words pledge reminds the Yamhill County Jail's female inmates to cherish themselves, as well as to not hurt others.
At least once a day, inmates such as Lisa Carson raise their right hands and say the words, "I will not use my hands or my words to hurt myself or others."
Carson, one of the jail's repeat customers, said her life has turned around during her most recent incarceration. Discovering God's love was the most important first step. Saying the pledge - and encouraging her fellow inmates to say it - has kept her walking on the right path.
"I was abused as a child and as an adult, and I've been an abuser, of both others and myself," said Carson, 39, who hopes to enter Bible school when she's released in January.
"When I hold up my hand and say the pledge, I think about how I need to protect myself and stand up for the next victim, too," she said.
Carson refers to her former self as a career criminal and a heavy user of methamphetamine. She calls that self evil, "a prime example of hate, rage and anger."
She was someone who inflicted pain whenever she could, she said. She struck out before others could hurt her.
"Then the Lord took away that rage, hate and bitterness, all the things I used to protect myself and keep people at bay," she said. "God showed me what love is about."
One aspect of the Hands and Words pledge is especially important to Carson: the emphasis on words.
The pledge reminds her that words can hurt as much or more than physical violence, she said. "When I was constantly told I was stupid, every day, that was like brain-washing," she said.
But it also reaffirms that words have healing power. "Words can turn things about," she said. "When we say this every day, it rededicates the brain to better thinking."
The words part of the pledge parallels what she's learning from the Bible, as well. "The Lord says love with your words," she said.
Yamhill County Jail's Hands and Words program is overseen by Karen Rogers, administrative assistant who also oversees the female inmates.
The jail usually houses 30 to 35 women who range in age from 18 to 60 or older. Almost all are incarcerated because of problems related to methamphetamine, she said.
In addition to using the Hands and Words pledge, Rogers also pushes concepts such as respect for self and others, responsibility and consistency. She also encourages talking things out and getting along together.
"With so many of these women, no one's ever told them, 'You're OK; you can be OK,'" Rogers said. "I care about them. They need encouragement and they need to look forward."
Rogers and her programs have been a big help to all of those inside, Carson said.
"Karen is a wonderful advocate for women. She lets us know that other people are in the same situation and that we can reach out to other women," Carson said, explaining that the females who end up in jail often were running with men who kept them isolated and segregated from others of their gender.
In turn, Rogers said, Carson has become one of the best advocates for the Hands and Words program.
Now assertive rather than aggressive, she is beginning to talk more and more about her painful past. That benefits both herself and others.
Carson encourages other inmates to learn about the dynamics of abuse and violence. Then she suggests they say the pledge.
"I ask people if they've been hurt," she said. "Then I ask them, do you want to not hurt others?"
Carson is the mother of five children, ages 10 to 24. She has custody of none of them - which is a good thing, she said, knowing that her most unselfish act was giving them up.
Wherever they are, she hopes they also are taking the pledge, as do many school children and adults around the country. She would like to imagine them saying the words she says daily: "I will not use my hands and words for hurting myself and others."
"All children need that," she said.